TUTORIAL IT

Well, this weekend wasnt great, but that happens. I could feel myself feeling some type of way on Friday. I was beginning to feel a little burned out. Then work was a freaking whirlwind; clients were visiting and I had my obligated duties of being hostest with the mostest. Normally I immensely enjoy this, but Friday it just exhausted me. Hell called and wanted its weather back as well. 

When I left the office, I had a heavy leg workout on my training agenda. Honestly, I push myself to the brink of throwing up when I train legs. I dont know why, but I love training my legs until I cannot walk. I only do legs once every 7-10 days; sometimes even less because of how much I hike. Thus when I have my leg workouts, I make sure they count. I need to be in a good frame of mind for these workouts. Friday, I was not. However, I made myself go, and the second I walked through the gym doors, I was in total masochist mode. I tortured myself and Kelly, and we ended up having a great workout. I was exhausted after so the rest of the evening was spent binging on True Blood and ice-cream. 

I slept 10 hours Friday night and woke up late on Saturday; barely able to walk. Fridays training goal was definitely attained. I planned on getting in good writing time but I could not concentrate to save my life; my ADHD was in full affect. Kelly came over and we went to a local tavern for a bottle of Champagne and hummus. We were having fun until I got sick. That little allergy I have to alcohol surfaced bad; I suppose it is because I do not drink a lot anymore so when I do, it shocks my body or something. I spent the rest of the evening laying down. I was miserable.

Sunday, I woke up early and still felt sore and fatigued; but since I was up early, I got ready and went to church. I usually go Sunday nights so this was a fun change of pace. It was the start of our new series "Meant to Be: The Bibles Best Kept Secret of Sex, Marriage, and Being Single", My soul needed this more than words can describe. That was another reason why I decided to go to church in the morning. I was so excited!

I am not a very religious person; I ask a LOT of questions and I am not going to "believe something" because a book tells me too. I have to fully understand something before I can make the stance that I believe in it. I believe in logic and reasoning; just like teachers, parents, and other mentors have always taught me too. However, there is something about faith and God that heals me in a way that I cant really explain.

Writing is my passion. Writing is what heals me. At times I feel God come through my writing and take over my keyboard. I felt this significantly when I was writing this letter to myself. Finding God... or him finding me these past 7 weeks has been pretty incredible. Sometimes I feel like a pile mush throwing myself at his mercy and he always heals me. 

I am veering off of the subject, but Sunday was a strong, passionate, and honestly raw service, which is why I love going there. Steven Furtick is absolutely amazing: he preaches in a way that is so easy to understand and make sense of. You can take his message and apply it to your daily life. I cling to every word. When I was forced to go to church as a child and teen, I scribbled on the program counting down the minutes until it was over. It is not like that anymore. 

The most incredible part was all of the healing you could physically see and emotionally feel. Steven preached of how hard marriage is, how much it work it takes, the grace of being single, loving yourself -- he preached from 1st Corinthians in a beautifully and brutally honest way; a way that I feel so many people desperately need to hear. Slowly you could see couples all throughout the church holding hands, humbling before their partners, acknowledging their wrongdoings, making promises, and taking a leap of faith that had been void for a long time. Though my happy ass was there alone, it was incredible to see. I am so glad that I was so weak at the beginning of July that it forced me to start going to church. I was at a breaking point and in so much despair. I was desperate for my soul to be healed and a change. I feel right where I belong.

This series is powerful. It is for mature audiences, and Steven is not afraid to make you uncomfortable. This message gravely need to be said. He is preaching from 1st Corinthians; a chapter sometimes churches glide over because of the content. If you are single, married, or in relationship, you will benefit tremendously from this sermon. Watch it online here. 

After church, I went home and took a nap and did some writing for "Pretty, Lies". I then decided I needed to get out and get some fresh air. I did not feel like training so I went to the movies to see "If I Stay". I had a free ticket so I thought it would be a good movie to use it on. I have not read the book "If I Stay" but I have been seeing the preview for the movie so long that it looked intrigued me to go see it. My verdict? Disappointed is an understatement. I like the idea of the movie and the story is good; but the execution of the movie was awful. It was so boring. I could not wait for it to be over. To me, it lacked so many things. The only part I was "touched" at was when the grandfather was beside of Mias hospital bed when she was unconscious. I am glad I did not pay to see it, and if you want to watch it, wait for Redbox.